My Life: The Sitcom

So I'm supposed to be writing a 12 page paper on blue crab dredge fishing in the chesapeake bay. Just to let y'all know. Yay procrastination.

Not too much has happened since the last entry. There was a big panic attack/upset/amber thing Saturday, but I don't want to talk about that.

Thanksgiving was pretty sweet. We sat through dinner and did a modified "something you're thankful for" thing for the adults. Then me, Charlie, Patrick, and two of his cousins went back to the basement and played Rock Band and Guitar Hero (Guitar Hero is sooo much better, btw).

Christmas plans are finally made and I'm so excited because Charlie gets to come home with me for Christmas! His mom is leaving to go to Mexico and I didn't want him to be alone at Christmas, so I offered for him to come stay with us, and his mom got him tickets! It's gonna be the best Christmas break ever. ^___^ And I'll get my first midnight New Year's kiss ever. And I'm sure this won't be the last. ^__^

I'm so excited for winter break. First I get to spend about 2 weeks just with Charlie at his apartment. Though he'll still be in school, he has a lot of time off, so I'll see him a lot. Then we go home and I'm going to totally redo my hair! I'm SOO excited to get rid of the brown with blond highlights I've had forever. I'm also gonna get to see my best friends, Sam, Becca, and Sri again! Though mom is kind of annoyed that Charlie will be there because she wanted like, alone time with me and she wants me to see my friends, which I do plan to do...Charlie can find some sort of entertainment at home. And I get to see my cute doggies again! And I'm going to eat at the Tortilla Factory sooo much...I miss that place sooo much, no mexican place here can compare! AND Christmas itself will be great...I love presents! ^___^ And Charlie and I are going to have our own special little Christmas. Which reminds me...I have Christmas shopping to do...yikes! And I'm going to get to see an old friend, Elena Hadjimichael, on the 26th, which I can't wait for! I haven't seen her in sooo long. Then a few more doctors appointments, New Year's celebration, then back for next quarter.

I got really lucky in that I got the classes that I really needed and a decent class to fill a gen ed. So many people didn't get into the classes they needed. I was able to get in because I am a Regent scholar, which means I get to sign up before everyone else! Epic.

I really hope it snows over winter break. I have a feeling I'm going to miss snow here. We only get rain in Santa Cruz. Though I'm definitely not missing the cold - we've had like 75 degree days! In late November! Blasphemy. Lol. Reston isn't so pretty with snow because it's a city, but I'd definitely go visit the old house, because Hunter Mill is very pretty with the snow.

We still haven't gotten to see the place we'll be moving into next year (oh yea, when I say we, I pretty much always mean Charlie and me, unless otherwise stated. moving on.) and I can't wait to see it! And live in it! ^__^

Even with the problems I've had going back into a serious relationship, I really can't say enough how much I love Charlie and how happy I am to be in a deep love again. And when I say forever, I know it's more likely than any other forever I've ever imagined. And that makes me happy beyond words.

Well I'll stop boring you guys with the sappy stuff, and I guess I need to get back to that dumb paper. Til next time!

PS I got advent calendars for me and my roommate! I love advent calendars. A chocolate every day? Yes please! :)

I really need to update this thing more often.

So college has now started...the first quarter is almost over actually...and it has gone pretty well. I have As in all my classes and I got all the classes I wanted for next quarter (thank goodness for that Regents Scholar title). The classes here are deff easier than the classes at TJ, though it seems like we have to learn a year's worth of material in 10 weeks which is kind of O.O

Charlie and I have now passed our 4 month mark (even though I was stuck in LA for one of those months, it still counts). ^_^ And we're like the total obnoxious couple of the century (see our FB profile pics lol). Though there have been some rough patches and tearful nights, there haven't really been any actual fights, and my panic attacks are getting fewer and farther apart (thank god!). And Charlie and I are pretty much positive we're going to be together forever...of all the boys I've ever known, I'd definitely say he is the most likely to stick around forever. Plus I've loved him for three years, so it's not like it's just an obsession or anything - I really, really love him. And he really, really loves me. Though sometimes it's hard for me to believe that, I know it's true. I do hope we stay together forever, but however long we stay together, I am excited and hopeful for our future. ^__^ Plus, we already have so many fun things planned - Thanksgiving break (starting tomorrow!) together, two weeks of winter break together, and an awesome week-long beach trip planned in July (for our anniversary). Over winter break, we're going to have our own little Christmas with presents and stockings and a little tree. It's going to be so wonderful. ^_^ And we will probably live together off campus next year. It will be so amazing to get to sleep with the man I truly love every single night. ^__^

I'm not sure my mom is so fond of these plans though lol because they keep me away from her for longer, for example I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving and I'm not coming home til December 23rd (instead of Dec. 11th) for winter break. Even though I am super excited to be here in Santa Cruz, I do miss my mom, and even my dumb dogs sometimes. And of course I miss all my great friends back home (who I am hella jealous of because they get to get together over Thanksgiving break). And though it has been almost eight months, I have not heard a single word from my father - no emails, no phone calls, nothing. You would think he would get over his pride and try to reconnect when his only daughter goes across the country for college, but...nothing. And even though it ended badly, I do still miss him (for who could not miss a parent who was not abusive or molesting or something really bad?) and wish he would contact me. I may try to get back in touch over the summer, but I doubt it. I'm a very prideful person, and it's very unlikely that I will break first.

No matter what happens, I know I'm lucky - I have a loving mother and a perfect boyfriend who is with me every step of the way. I don't know what I would do without him. I love you Charlie. <3

The day before yesterday was really awesome. The night before, Linda had told me there was going to be a rally to support healthcare reform, but it would start at 9:00 am, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to get up that early. Last minute, I decided to go and I sure am glad I did. Most people there were in support but there was this one crazy guy with a poster that had a picture of Obama with a Hitler mustache photoshopped on. Tons of news crews showed up too, ABC, NBC, FOX, and a couple of radio stations. Near the beginning, Linda tapped the shoulder of the ABC news guy and told him that I was an articulate 18-year-old, in case he wanted to talk to me, she said. He kind of smiled and so we thought he would just ignore it, but at the end, he turned to us and asked if we would mind saying something. We both said of course not and he interviewed me for a little bit, then Linda. We kind of laughed about it, saying oh we're never gonna get on tv. But we tivoed the 5 o'clock news and sure enough, they played part of my interview!! They spelled my last name wrong, and it was only local tv, but whatever, that was still awesome! The part they played said "You can't just be concerned about things that affect you personally, you have to be concerned about what affects the entire country. That's what this is all about." Pretty good for an 18-year-old I would say.

Then later that night, I got to go to a Heaven and Hell concert. For those of you who don't know, Heaven and Hell is basically Dio-era Black Sabbath, all the members were Black Sabbath members at some point. The band includes Dio, Iommi, Butler, and Appice. They are awesome! Dio is 67 and he still performs with amazing energy and stuff, and that is so amazing. The concert was a lot of fun, though it was mostly old people, so I didn't really meet anyone except for the two creepy older guys behind me that hit on me. I only really knew their two new songs - Bible Black and Follow the Tears - but the rest of the music was great too. I still had more fun at Mayhem Fest though, even if Colin abandoned me. I'm just not obsessed with this old stuff like Charlie is. Ah well at least he doesn't mind my taste in music.

Yesterday kind of sucked, and since I haven't gone to sleep yet, today has too. I've just been in a crappy mood after talking to Linda about the divorce and my father. I also went back and re-read the email conversation we had where he threatened to take away all my insurance and not pay tuition and then told me to "call [him] when [I] grow up" as a response to me refusing to go back to his house in may and july. And then there was a (brief, luckily) situation with Amber that was kind of the final stress that sent me into a brief panic attack. So all in all, bad day. Oh and after describing the sitch with Amber, John told me I should "watch" Charlie because he "recognizes the behavior," which can basically be described as non-confrontational, which is kinda his personality. I don't think I would be fond of any "behavior" John recognizes. *sigh* Plus I didn't get any work done either. Ah well maybe tomorrow will be better.

Well I've now been in LA for a week, so like 5 weeks to go til I can see Charlie again. :( And yea, it's kinda annoying down here - we live on the edge of skid row so I'm afraid to walk anywhere, so I'm just sitting in the house all day. Work is pretty boring, just entering stuff into excel spreadsheets and searching the internet basically. It's also hard only having like a few outfits and three pairs of shoes. XD

The only soon-to-come thing I'm looking forward to is the Heaven and Hell concert on Tuesday, which is gonna be awesome! For those of you who don't know, Heaven and Hell is basically Black Sabbath (Dio, Iommi, and two other previous members of Black Sabbath), but Ozzy would sue if they used the name Black Sabbath, so they changed it to Heaven and Hell.

That's about it, for now, proof of how boring my life is down here. But after the drama of the last year or so, boring is a nice temporary change.

Mom and I had fun in Sausalito and San Francisco, did a lot of shopping, rode the ferry, it was really fun. We also went to Monterey Bay Aquarium and visited Carmel which is an annoyingly hoity-toity rich town.

Well the week with Charlie is more than half over and it's been pretty great. We've gone to san francisco a lot. I love it there, they don't card you for anything lol. Charlie and I went into a BDSM store (technically a leather store, but they have lots of stuff) and the people working there were so nice, they weren't like "how old are you?! u shouldn't be here." It was kool. And we got plenty of new toys and have been playing with them ever since. It's been a lot of cuddling and making out too.

I'm just really glad finally to have a boyfriend again that I trust, that I don't think will cheat on me. With John I was constantly worrying, is he out with another girl, is he whispering the same things to her, is he messing around with other girls. But I don't really feel that with Charlie, I don't believe for a second he would cheat on me. It's nice not having to constantly wonder. With John, when I knew him before he became my bf, he told me all his crazy stories and they made me nervous about dating him because I thought he would pull that crap on me. But I've talked to Charlie when he has had girlfriends and he was always loyal and sweet so I know he'll be that way with me too. And there's no trace of the obsessive craziness I sometimes get so I'm happy about that.

Unfortunately I will be leaving for LA soon and that will blow because it's SoCal and SoCal sucks. Oh well at least I'll make lots of money, hopefully.

Well I've finally made it to what most likely is going to be my final destination. I don't see myself leaving California for a very long time.

Staying in Santa Cruz for a while with mom was fun, though it's really hard to drive in the city. Thank goodness for the extensive bus system. There are some pretty great restaurants and I may have a job at Mackenzie's Chocolates, a place that make tons of novelty chocolates, like chocolate computers and flowers and on and on. The UCSC campus is huge! but there are ton of shuttles. And I have my entire class schedule - multi var, a course called environment and society, and life in the seas. I was able to keep Friday afternoon free to my pleasant surprise. That means I can leave Friday evening and go up to San Francisco for the weekend on Friday night and stay up there longer. Which is good because my boyfriend lives there and I want to be able to see him as much as possible. It's going to be very hard until December is over, however, because I need to make $3600 by the end of December so I can file for income taxes and get residency for the next school year so I can pay in-state tuition. It's all very complicated. I also met a nice girl named Ariel, who is also in college 8 and is a marine bio major. She's sort of the skater type and she's a literature geek. I think we'll get along well.

Tomorrow morning I will arrive at Charlie's house and begin what will be one of the best weeks of my life. I'm staying at his house so we will be together 24/7 (though his mother won't know about the night hours we spend together, lol). That means I have to get up early in the morning to get ready so I'm going to get my ass off the computer and go to sleep! Oh and my sunburn from july 4th (!!!!) has not healed!! So I'm kind of speckled (my legs and parts of my stomach are kind of red-ish tan) which makes me sad but hopefully it will go away soon. Freaking pale skin. I'm wearing lots of sunscreen for the rest of the summer. I'd rather be super pale than speckled like this, and I can't bring myself to tan on purpose seeing as it's so unhealthy.

Oh yes, one more update for tonight. John and I finally had the talk I had been avoiding since last November. He is seducing Alex's girlfriend and telling me about it so I told him, I don't know why you're telling me this when I owe Alex one for tipping me off about Anna. So John finally told me that he never cheated on me, that Anna went to kiss him in Lovesac and he pulled away. I asked him why he didn't tell me this back in November, he said it was because it didn't seem like I was listening. That's only because I was keeping my lips shut tight so I wouldn't burst out in tears and take it all back, because I knew I had to dump him. I expected him to cheat from the very beginning but it made me cry when he told me recently that I was the first girl he didn't cheat on. He was the only guy I actually had trouble dumping, besides Peter, though that may be because he was stuck sitting next to me on the couch for like an hour and a half. I just wish he had told me earlier because then maybe I would have had a boyfriend for most of my senior year and I wouldn't have been as miserable as I was.

Finally! My sunburn is almost healed! I went to Bethany Beach for the Fourth and I got really badly sunburned on my legs. I'm just glad it's almost healed because I don't want to be like speckled when I see Charlie. Which is in only 9 more days!! I'm so happy!

These past couple of days I've been dead on my feet because for some reason I can't get to sleep, so I haven't been sleeping much. It's probably college anxiety. I've also had trouble reigning in my imagination. I've had a few bad imaginings, one of which is showing up at Charlie's door and him telling me he found someone else, which was temporarily subdued by his recent texting, telling me he still loved me etc. The other, and I WONDER who this could have come from, is I'm lying in his bed and we're about to go to sleep. He goes to the bathroom but while he's gone his cell phone goes off. A text from Amber, saying "I love you" or "I want to f*** you" and even "I can't wait to see you in August." I scroll through the rest of the texts and there are many like that from her, and then I go to the sent messages and find that Charlie has been sending the same kind of things to her. So I just walk out of the room and it's even more depressing cause I'm stuck in the house with him for a few more days. I hate imagining these things. They make me cry and it's like when I wake up from a dream about my mom being mean, I know it wasn't real but I'm still upset with her, I get feelings like that, but I know I'm upset over nothing.

John still does that, what inspired that bad imagining. He was here today and spent most of his time texting. I'm only going to see him once more, and I really want to ask him if he could just not do that for the final day. But I can't. That An-watever (I can't spell her name, it's some polish spelling) girl texts him a bazillion times a day and gets all like suicidal when he doesn't text her, so I don't think he can go without texting other girls for even one day. I really wish he would do it himself, that I wouldn't have to ask him. That he would say "I'm not going to text ppl today, I want to just be with you." He says I'm a "priority" but I wish he would act like it. I just can't wait to go to California. One girl is enough for Charlie, and finally, that girl is me.

This one won't be so long as the last one, I promise. I mean, I had to catch up on more than a year of love life! XD

So basic school things. Graduated with about a 4.2 GPA and 5 As and 2 B+s this year. I went to prom with Steven Tan. We, however, remained just friends, unlike so many other prom couples. He asked me by having me come out to his car and gave me a clownfish and 3 chocolate roses. It was very cute (the clownfish because my research project involved clownfish). ^_^

Graduation was a great ceremony. We had great student speakers and the others weren't boring either. I was shocked, however, when we started to file out, I saw my dad and his girlfriend, Sarah, standing there applauding. I haven't spoken to him since April and still refuse to talk to him, so I didn't think he would show up. I didn't think he even knew when it was. Luckily I didn't run into them when we left, though I did get to see Kate and Jason one last time, which was nice.

Now I'm going off to the University of California at Santa Cruz. I don't know anyone else going there, which I love because by the end of senior year, I just wanted a new start, a clean slate. I was so tired of everyone...well not everyone but certain people, making fun of me for actually having a love life and many other things. There were a lot of things at TJ I was tired of. Plus I have a guy who loves me and who I love waiting for me there already.

This leads into my whole thing about Facebook. Sure, it's great to be able to connect to people you haven't seen or talked to in years, but sometimes it's too much. Sometimes you don't want to see what so-and-so is doing today or he or she is now in a relationship with so-and-so. It's more true for some people than others. Therefore I am doing "summer cleaning," one of the few times I'll ever voluntarily clean something. I've already started, but I've avoided unfriend-ing people I might see again. When I'm off to California, however, I will delete all the people I either don't like or remind me of things I don't want to think about. I'm shedding all this emotional baggage to try and start over and have a healthier life (emotionally). So if there is a sudden drop in the number of friends I have, this is the reason.

Huh. Amazing how long it's been since I've written here (125 weeks, according to LJ). I probably wouldn't have even remembered it, had I not stumbled across the LJ of a friend of mine, who I newly reconnected with on Facebook. Facebook is also amazing for creating circles.

It's also amazing how everything comes in circles. First of all, time to recap to sort of catch up from where I stopped. I ended up staying with Peter for 14 months (eliciting many gasps, as was to be expected, I suppose), but then we hit a rough patch (putting it lightly) and broke up. And I ended up being right in the title of my last post - they were the best months of my life. So far, but I'll come to that later. I then had a long run of "bad boy" boyfriends that lasted for almost a year (3 in total, I'll go into each). Most of you can skip this stuff, seeing as you know most of it. Those of you who do decide to read this, brace yourselves. It's a long one.

The first "circle" thing that happened in my life was Colin. Sergius Colin Vernet. It's funny because of the timing of my last post - the circle started where that left off: the Ski Trip. So fateful, it deserves upper case letters. Long story short, I met Colin there and was immediately obsessed with him. I was a new skier, as I said, and I mostly stuck to the green trail, called Salamander. Then the first night, Peter and his father convinced me to go on a blue, though Colin insisted it was icy. I was out of control as soon as I started and ended up walking down the hill. Colin carried my skies and Peter walked with me. I called him a son of a bitch for making me go down the hill. Then the next day, I continued to go down Salamander and Colin stuck with me the whole way, just talking, while Peter left me to go skiing in the trees with his Boy Scout friends. At the final lunch, Colin asked for my phone number, and much to Peter's chagrin, I gave it to him. I checked my phone like every 10 minutes for the next few weeks and tried to invited him to my birthday party, but Peter wouldn't deliver the invitation. No call. For a little less than a year. Then one day in my dad's apartment (about two months after Peter and I broke up), everything changed when my phone rang. New text! "It's me, Colin, from the ski trip. do u remember me? do you want to go out on Saturday?" I literally bounced around the apartment going "Colin! Colin! Can you believe it dad?! Colin!" for a few minutes, then responded. When we went out, he subtly asked me to be his girlfriend ("Guess I need to change my facebook status now, huh?") and I said yes. About a month later, we broke up because he couldn't support me for a while (his cousin died) but I was still too broken from Peter to support myself. So I was gone, to search for someone else to support me. I only saw him two more times, once to "hang out" (he was my first...ugh...could've picked someone worse though, so it wasn't too bad) and then again at the concert (Mayhem Fest) I bought his ticket for. He pretty much abandoned me to hang out with my cigarette and weed smoking other friends who happened to be there. And after that, he became a pretentious, annoying college student and I never talked to him again.

Now we get to Alex. Another funny one. Met him through Gibson - used to be Peter's best friend, but they had a fight. Alex was pretty opposite from me. Back then, I was still pretty much a good girl. Still a virgin even. He was a dealer, a pretty big one, and smoked weed all the time. He just recently got caught selling in school and got expelled, but that's beside the point. He was funny and kind of adorable, though not the most attractive guy. It was a fun summer relationship but I wasn't in love with him, or even obsessed like I was with Colin. I was attracted for other reasons, that certain friends of mine know about me (he was something that starts with a "D"). So before the summer was even over, I was gone again.

Again, however, Gibson had my back, since I was not emotionally ready to stay single for a long period of time. John Terry. More of you know about him than Alex because you still hear about him, (he still is pretty prominent in my life). I met John back when I was with Peter. Gibson had told John I was having certain problems, and John offered his *cough* services. I sorta stayed in contact with him for a while, though, and he ended up falling in love with me (or so he said)...in his way...and we ended up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. It was good for a couple months, even though he was the ultimate bad boy. Smoker. Of more than just cigarettes, though that was illegal enough. Other drugs. Drinking. Way too much for his young age (he's a little more than a year younger than me), for any age at that. Expelled. Felony. Carrying oxycotin in his backpack. But the expelled part was after we were together. But still, though I was still mostly a good girl, it felt so natural with him, just spending time together, as it still does when he comes over to hang out. It felt nice just being with him...and I'm sure his constant complimenting ("you're so amazing/hot/etc") had nothing to do with it. XD But then, he told me he was going to the movies with some people, then I find out from Alex it would just be John, Maggie, and Anna. Then after this "hang out at the movie" thing, John tells me that "maybe he shouldn't have gone because afterward Maggie and Anna liked him." But Alex tips me off that Maggie had cancelled that morning and John went with just Anna. Anna is this pretty, blonde girl. So I dumped John the next time he came over because, though just going to the movies alone with a prettier girl doesn't necessarily mean cheating, the fact that he lied about it implied there was something there.

And as you all know, I've been single ever since. I still hang out with John pretty frequently, which I shouldn't do, but I do it anyway because it makes me feel better. He still compliments me too much and is still a bad boy.

But now there's a bigger circle coming back now. Charlie. Mentioned in the one of the first posts of this LJ. I met him at Whale Camp, fought with my best friend at the camp over him, won, and stayed in touch with him for three years now. We never were officially together though, because he lives in California. I've seen him three times since Whale Camp '06; I went to San Francisco twice and he came here once. And now, I'm going to Santa Cruz, just an hour from San Francisco and we're going to officially be together. He's gone now, off in the woods teaching survival school. Building shelters, fires, hunting, no cell phones, no internet. So no contact until the 27th of July, but after that I get to stay at his house for a whole week! Which will hopefully be the best week of my life, good enough to forget all the hauntingly happy memories singlehood has brought back. And no matter what certain people say, the lures of the evils of college, boys, drugs, and drinking out the wazoo will not lure me away from Charlie. I will not cheat. I will not become a crazy bad college girl. I will not succumb. I will be happy.

Wow, it's been a while. Peter and I are still together (i can hear u all going *gasp*), and it will be 4 months on February 7th. TJSD is over and the sleepover is coming up...that'll be fun. These past few months have been the best ever, even though my parents have separated and we're going through the whole court thing. That sucks, but at least I'm old enough that I can make my own decisions. It's mainly because of Peter that I'm happy. That, and I have an A in every class except BC Calc (I'm a sophomore, cut me some slack!)(I have a B+).

These past few months have been so much fun. I got a Wii!! And i'm not terrible at my Legend of Zelda game...i've only cheated 5 times.

I truly believe Peter and I are meant for each other. I love him so much. And he might come w/ me to Germany this summer! ^_^

I'm going on a ski trip tomorrow. First time skiing ever...and i'm scared to death, no matter how many people try to comfort me. Wish me luck! ^_~

The weekend before this one kicked ass! For those of you who don't know, I went w/ Peter to Connecticut (to visit my friend, Sarah). It was fun. We had a 7 hour car ride up there during which we watched a couple of movies, slept, ate candy, and even kissed a little (yes, my mother was in the front seat, i kno). When we got there, we stayed up a little meeting and talking with Sarah.
The next day, I was awoken by Sarah and my mom and Sarah's mom, Lisa, leaving to drop Sarah off at her law seminar and then go somewhere. So i lied in bed for a little while longer, then got some breakfast, then came upstairs and realized Peter was still asleep. I opened his door as noisily as I could, trying to wake him up. I called his name and came into the room. No response. I sat on the edge of his bed. No response. I crawled up and took the covers off the top half of his body (this was when I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt (but he was wearing pants)) and he STILL didn't wake up! So I poked him and called his name louder. He finally woke up. We just lied in the bed together for a while (nothing happened!) and then I got up and took a shower and blow-dried my hair while peter took a shower. Then I flat ironed my hair and fixed it and then we went down to the beach, which was literally 20 feet from Sarah's house. We skipped rocks until Sarah came home (I was better at it). Then we decided to go to this cliff-thing and climg it...we walked for 2 miles there, but we stopped twice. Once to play at this park (we left when little kids started throwing rocks at me) and once to get soda at this grocery store, where we bought soda and peter sorta taught me how to skateboard (meaning he dragged me around on the skateboard with me hanging on to his shirt for dear life. Then he taught Sarah some stuff and then we sorta stole a grocery cart (we ditched it like 10 feet later). We finally made it to the cliff-thing and it was pretty darn steep. Peter (of course) immediately climbed up to this ledge part, followed by Sarah. I however headed to the nearest tide pool to look for signs of life...I ended up only finding pretty shells. Finally, peter and sarah convinced me to climb up...by stealing my soda and taking it up to the ledge. So i went up very slowly, with peter behind me the whole way, pushing me up. Eventually, we went down (it was fun, like a slide) and made the long hike back home. The rest of the night we hung out, ate pizza, drank soda, and watched movies (and the simpsons). The next day Peter and I had to go home. The car ride was much the same as the first one, except it wasn't dark. We slept, ate candy, and watched movies.

This weekend was interesting. I went over to peter's house friday night and we made out. Then I went to the swim meet on Saturday and discovered that people actually notice when you have hickeys. -_- People thought they were bruises. I got a few comments and raised eyebrows. The swim meet sucked...I gained time in everything.

That's all for now. And Peter and I are truly in love...it's great...I love him so much and I am so happy.

Well, for those of you who have heard from me or go to TJ, you know yesterday was the Homecoming dance and Friday was the football game. The game was fun. Everyone was lying on each other in the stands for warmth and it was nice cause i got to snuggle w/ Peter. But we lost!! *cries*

Homecoming dance KICKED ASS!!! Dinner was great (we went to On the Border, just peter and me) and we got to talk for a long time since the dance started at 8 and we got there at 6. We ended up not getting to the dance till 8:30 though. The dance was awesome too! I grinded w/ Peter a lot (front to front) and we slow danced a couple of times. It was funny...Galen had a date and she looked a lot like me (white w/ blondish hair and blue eyes). Can we say L-O-S-E-R? *laughs* But anyway, on the last song (it was a slow one) Peter and I kissed!!! ^___^ I was his first kiss... *sighs* He's a really good kisser...

I will repeat this again because i kno everyone is like "yea right Erica, you've said this about every bf u've had": I really think I can stay w/ Peter for a long time and enjoy it. I like him so much! ^_^ Well, that's all the dirt for now. Byeas!

Man, I never knew how many high school kids go to AMC Tysons on Saturday nights. I saw at least 5 Jefferson kids I knew besides Peter. Before our movies started, Peter and I hung out with my two friends who were there, Maya and Emma. Then we went to the movie. Employee of the Month was great and Peter and I held hands for like the last ten minutes. It was very cute. Then, as we walked out of the movie toward my mom (she was waiting by Cold Stone), Peter asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said yes! Yet again, I am no longer single. This is number six for those who are curious.

YAY! Finally, some happy news. Peter asked me to Homecoming today! It was really cute, he gave me a huge bouquet of roses and some chocolates (a lot of which I dropped on the floor...oops *is embarassed*). OMG he's so cute and nice...unlike Galen, that shauvanistic pig. And I'm sure we'll become bf/gf soon like what happened w/ Sam, but, and I know i've said this before, I think I can actually stay with Peter for a pretty long time. As long as he doesn't dump me. Of course, there's a lot of pressure on him to do so...with everyone calling me a whore and telling him to "get out while he can" I'm really afraid he'll be influenced against me by outside sources. But I can only hope he likes me enough to ignore them. I can't wait for school now because it seems more bearable now that I have someone who cares about me. Plus Peter has more chocolate for me. ^_^ watch out on the bus tomorrow afternoon LeeAnn...heehee.

This week was interesting because Erica K and Diana were not there. It was only me, Rebecca J, Elias, Chris, and Peter. So Chris hung out w/ Rebecca and me the whole time and *gasp* noticed I exist!

OMG! Next week is Homecoming Asking Week, and I kno Peter is going to ask me. I hope he gives me flowers. *sigh*

The sochop was fun. I actually didn't hang out w/ Chris and Elias the whole time. And I grinded w/ Peter. The chaperones were a joke because they would come through an area and everyone would stop grinding and touching each other, then they'd leave and everyone would pick up where they left off.

So basically, this week was fun...no more dances till Homecoming, though. Oh well!

Wahoo...another unexpected twist in the story of the two Ericas and Elias and Chris. -_-

Now, I have mentioned how Diana and the other Erica get most of the attention from Chris and Elias, but they still paid attention to me occasionally. Now there's even another player in this game: Rebecca Justice. I <3 Becca so much cause she's naive and never gets sex jokes, so it's funny. But now Elias is paying all his attention to her and the other Erica and Chris is paying all his attention to the other Erica and Diana. Becca doesn't say anything against it ever though she's sorta dating another guy cause she wants the other guy to pay more attention to her. So there's no room for me now.

Yesterday, Erica came into my eighth period room like crying and asked to speak to me in the hall and we sat there the rest of eighth period talking. She was crying cause she said she was worried about me cause she knows i like Chris so much and she's worried I'll get into an abusive relationship and I started crying because it hurt so badly thinking about the fact that no matter what I do, Chris is not going to like me. And she told me she doesn't want me to stop being me just to get someone to like me. And I told her the reason I really want a relationship is because I feel so alone because of the dysfunction in my family and my mom is never home, so I'm by myself most of the time. By then we were both crying and eighth period ended. Then I went downstairs and my friend Yasmin saw me and saw that i had tears in my eyes and was like " r u okay?" Then like 3 other people saw me and were like "r u okay?" and i just started crying harder when they said that. Thank Buddha that neither Chris nor Elias saw me. That was really bad cause I had broken my promise to myself (never to cry in school, after the time Andrew Smith made me cry in school) twice in one week.

So now I'm slightly depressed, but the fact that there's a soc hop this week makes me feel slightly better, but I know by the end of it, I'll probably feel worse than ever.

That's all that's happened now...I'll definitely update next Saturday about the soc hop if nothing happens before then.

OK! lots to tell. Before you read this, to warn you, many people have dubbed my life worthy of a TV-drama. If that does not interest you, read someone else's journal. However, if you like love, break-ups, terrible ex-es, and random dysfunctional-ness, read this. But in this entry, keep in mind I am good friends with the other Erica.

First of all, I go to TJ. This summer, I started dating a senior at TJ named Galen. Now, he's a real shauvanist and insulted me all the time (rather annoying). But he was a senior, so it was worth it. By last Thurday, however, so many people telling me how bad of a person he is and seeing him versus the fun of Audlobbers (drama kids) like Elias and Chris (more on them later). So i dumped him. He was very mean about it (as he would tell me later "because he still has feelings for me") and called me "the worst decision [he] ever made."

Now, most of my friends know the story about Chris and I. For those who don't, he asked me to Spring Formal last year and I've liked him ever since. Elias is a senior and I sort of met him last year, but we actually became sort of friends this year. The other Erica (Erica Kuehn) and I usually hang out with them. In the beginning, it was great, lots of fun. But now, Chris and Elias only want to be "friends with benefits" with the other Erica.

So last Friday was the football game against Langley at TJ. I was feeling bad before the game even started because i was talking with the two Rebeccas I hang out with and we got each other depressed. Then, the other Erica and Diana (also a friend of mine) got all the attention from the guys, so i felt really bad and went under the bleachers twice to cry (Meghan was with me and made me feel better. Thank you!!!). The second time, Elias saw me and convinced me to go back, but a few minutes later, I was ignored again.

But at the sochop, i met this cute guy named Peter and we slow danced twice. I don't actually know him, but I think I could like him.

Oh yea, almost forgot about Whale Camp. At Whale Camp, I met an amazing guy named Charlie. He's cute and so nice and he loves me a lot. He's a survivalist and he's really cool. But he lives in California.

That's all I can think about now. I'll update soon about my ever-changing love life.

Being a life guard is very boring. Except when you get to blow your whistle and yell at people...that's fun. Otherwise, you just sit there and make sure no one's drowning. Try doing that for 6 hours. Sit in the chair for half an hour, then sit in the office for half an hour, then go back to the chair...absolutely stimulating! I already miss my friends, I wish I could just go back to school. Oh yea, and on the way to swimming this morning, my driver (my neighbor) got so lost (she went the wrong way on 123) that I was 45 mins late for swimming. Then I had to get out 45 mins later to get ready for life guarding.